Sunday, March 30, 2008
Posted by David and Jennifer at 10:11 PM
Friday, March 28, 2008
Posted by David and Jennifer at 9:06 PM
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Posted by David and Jennifer at 12:16 AM
Monday, March 24, 2008
Today is Easter Sunday. (or it was - it's technically early Monday!) Mom and Dad came up for lunch after their church service and we just visited for a little while. I had turned on the lamp in the nursery earlier as they were going in for a peek. So tonight after they had long been gone I went in to turn the light out. I passed the crib on my way to the lamp but stopped and thought for a moment. I wonder and I hope that this is our last Easter alone.
I pondered if next year, at this time, our child would be sleeping in his/her crib. Will we have a baby girl that was photographed over and over in her first Easter dress? Will we have a little boy in Gap Khaki's and a sweater vest? :) How old will they be? How will our lives be different? Or will we still be waiting at this time next year? Only God knows. I ask that you would be in prayer for us especially now. We turn in all of our paperwork tomorrow to our agency. Then the wait begins... Happy Easter to you all.
Posted by David and Jennifer at 12:10 AM
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Posted by David and Jennifer at 11:09 PM
Okay...so this has nothing to do with our adoption journey but I just thought it was funny! For some reason, as I was sitting in my chair Saturday, I noticed Ginger sitting across from me on the couch! Usually when she sees me make eye contact with her she immediately runs over - tail wagging - wanting a pet! But she just sat there looking shy and timid. Maybe she was hiding from the Easter bunny!
Posted by David and Jennifer at 11:02 PM
Saturday, March 22, 2008
An Ever-Evolving History
Source: Pineforge Press
In 1972, the National Association of Black Social Workers announced that it was opposed to adoptions that placed Black children into White families. Their position still stands today. Transracial adoptions, they argue, are harmful to Black heritage.
By 1987, 35 states had established policies against cross-racial adoption.
What.....folks this is barely twenty years ago!
In 1994, the Howard M. Metzenbaum Multiethnic Placement Act of 1994 (MEPA) was passed, prohibiting an agency or entity receiving Federal assistance for adoptive or foster care placements from delaying or denying the placement of a child on the basis of the race, color, or national origin.
In 1996, Congress further amended MEPA, forbidding all agencies from denying or delaying placement of a child for adoption solely on the basis of race or national origin.
The Dissenter's Point of View
Transracially adopted children growing up in White or other race families won't learn about their culture or be able to develop positive, healthy self-images.
White parents can never truly relate to and therefore, prepare transracially adopted children for the negative experiences they will have in a racially divided world.
White or other race parents will not be able to adequately care for the unique needs of children who are racially different (e.g. hair and/or skin care).
You cannot separate the political issues from transracial adoption - if African American children, for example, are not taught to relate to and/or identify with the issues faced by their communities, they will be less likely to support the political agendas of the African-American community.
Some families may find that the only reason they would even consider adopting a child from another race is almost completely based on the relative ease and lower cost associated with adoptions involving children of color; This hardly speaks well for the family's motivation and preparation to handle the issues that come along with raising a child of color.
The children will grow up to resent the parents for "stealing" them away from their home countries, cultures, languages, customs and extended family, and will forever be engaged in a search to identify their true identities, culture, relatives.
To read more of this trash...visit the following website
Posted by David and Jennifer at 10:42 AM
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Well the days are winding down for us....classes are finished, paperwork's done for the most part, David is going to finish his self study this weekend. It's gone really fast!!! So one big thing that we do have left is to fill out our "preferences" for our child. This is a tough one. We have really struggled about this and I have prayed about it daily. For any of you wondering - preferences is basically "what are you willing to accept as parents" on issues such as uterine exposure to drugs and alcohol, cigarettes, etc. What about other special needs such as down syndrome, cerebal palsy, etc? What races are you open to if any other than your own?
And the big thing for us is the question of race? I can hear your wheels turning?! Here's the thing....we could choose to accept only healthy caucasian infants or we can just keep it wide open or anything in the middle. So we have considered many things:
If we are willing to adopt outside of our race...
*how will our friends and family feel/recieve us?
*how will our church family recieve us?
*how would we handle the questions, the stares, the looks?
*what issues would our child have to face because their skin may be different from ours?
*at the end of the day, do the stares, the looks and the comments matter?
We went to a transracial playgroup last week and we have met other families at other times that have adopted transracially (i.e. outside their own race)in order to try to educate ourselves. We have asked how people have been responded to, what issues they face, where they learn to take care of the child's hair, at what age do the children realize their different from mom and dad, etc? You name it we have probably asked it or heard it being asked.
So we have lots of schools of thought on this. The big one being... how could we accept one of God's children and yet deny another? God has adopted us all into his family regardless of our ethnicity! Then there is the question of while the first statement may be true - are some couples/families better equipped to handle the adverse reactions we could experience? We certainly don't want to go around being angry or defensive all the time because people have hurt our family. That's no way to live. How about this one...if you believe, as we do, that God has a plan for every life then how do we set limits on how God intends to grow our family?
We have met so many extraordinary families on our short journey so far. They all are very different yet all amazing, genuinely good people with big hearts! Some are of the same race, some two different races, some many different races. So I guess the question is what's right for us? How do we know what to do? When you look at the fact that there are 143 million children around the world that are either orphaned or abandoned don't you think they each deserve to have their forever family? When you look at it in those terms - the huge need for families for children - our preferences seem quite trivial don't they?
So we question, we fret over the prefernces sheet, we don't want to fill it out, we wish we didn't have to consider these heavy things! In the midst of all the excitement we have to deal with some very difficult issues as well. I have been telling David that I wish God would hand us down some directions on a tablet like the Ten Commandments. I have sought his guidance on this issue daily and I am just not getting a sign, a vibe, a feeling...nothing! It's like "Okay God, I need your help...speak to me - PLEASE!"
While we realize that nobody can make the decison for us we would like for you to keep us in prayer if you would. We would love to hear your thoughts as well. If you feel you have any wisdom to impart then that would be wonderful. All of you who read this blog are either family or close friends so we obviously value your thoughts and appreciate your wisdom!
We very much appreciate you all reading along as God continues writing our story. We appreciate your comments and your thoughts. We appreciate your prayers and your well wishes! We are so lucky to have been blessed with each of you!
Well, we are taking the night off....we are not going to do any paperwork tonight! We are going to watch a movie and get to bed early as we have been so tired lately. I hope each of you are healthy and happy! Good night! :)
Posted by David and Jennifer at 8:48 PM
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Well, our last class meets tonight. David has a few more questions to answer on his self study and our paperwork will be complete! I plan on traveling over to the Bethany office on Monday and turning everyhting in to them! We are getting closer everyday! Just wanted to share the exciting news with you!
Posted by David and Jennifer at 4:07 PM
Sunday, March 16, 2008
So we were grocery shopping today and we wandered down the book/magazine isle. I saw a baby name book and the title struck me as odd...it was entitled Beyond Jennifer, Jason, Madison & Montana. Is Montana that popular of a name? If so I never knew it and I consider myself pretty up on kids names considering I am in child care facilities on a daily basis. Anyway...just thought that was interesting...somewhat offensive considering my name was one mentioned in the title...but interesting all the same!:) Oh well.
The good news is I found a dress for Easter and a lamp for Ryleigh or Jacob's room. Finding a lamp doesn't seem like a big deal but I assure you I had to look many places to find something that matched well. The Easter dress...that was hard! I want to look "springy" but not like an Easter basket exploded-on-me-ish!
Tomorrow we tackle our birth mother letters. Our letters are the only thing lacking in our profiles that we have to submit. We also attend our last class this Tuesday and Tuesday also doubles as our third group session that we have to attend. We really enjoy going to all the groups that we can so we will continue on with that even thought we will have meet our class & group requirements as of Tuesday.
Well....I think that gets us updated for now. It's way late and I should get to bed. I have had odd sleeping hours because of all the Benadryl I have had to take for these weird hives but Cantata is in the morning and we don't want to be late for that so I shall for close for now! Happy Palm Sunday everyone!
Posted by David and Jennifer at 2:04 AM
Friday, March 14, 2008
Well I started out this morning on a weird note. I didn't feel well to start with and I had a work appointment I needed to keep. The work appoint got cancelled. When I called my provider she said something to the effect of like, "Yeah, I got your message to confirm...guess I lost your number....and no, today is not good." Not unusual for this particular person. So I start to adjust my plans accordingly. One weird thing that has been happening lately is that I have been breaking out in weird hives off and on. I haven't changed, soap, shampoo, detergent, lotion, diet, etc. Thought I would save you from wondering? :) So this itchy-scratchy thing led me to the store on my way to work for a tub of hydrocortisone. As I was walking through the store I came across some baby items....(No, David...I didn't go to that isle specifically).... I came across all these cute pacifiers and rattles, socks and blankets and they were a good price so I had to buy them. Then as I rounded the corner I see books...the great hardbound kind perfect for those that would rather chew than read (baby surprise, perhaps) so I had to buy some books. Hey! They were cheap and they had the all important "realistic" pictures in them. So I bought a couple. Anyway...the funny thing is that other than big items like the car seat, stroller, swing, etc. we have already bought the basics. (We wanted to have most of what we needed to start because when your home study is finished you have to be ready for baby!) Anyway, I told David that we were pretty much through shopping for now. We have onesies, sleepers, blankets, crib sheets, stuffed toys, rattles, bottles, etc. Just not diapers - by the way...do they expire? Can you stock up too soon? So if we have a good start on what we need why did I come out with a sackful of multiples of things we already have!? I guess because it's connectional. It makes me feel closer to "baby surprise" wherever in the world he or she may be.
The thing about adoption is that you miss some things that a pregnant woman experiences....well, lots of things! I can't buy the shirt I saw last fall in the maternity store...it had a very artistic graphic of fall leaves and it said "Coming this fall!" How clever, I thought! People obviously can see that I am not pregnant so nobody asks me questions or wants to touch my tummy. I am sure any of you that are reading this and have been forced to wear frumpy maternity clothes or been annoyed by people's fascination with touching your tummy think that maybe I don't realize that it's not all it's cracked up to be. But for somebody that would give anything to experience that - well, it's different. Also I haven't run across psuedo preganancy/adoption journals - yet I can create my own. I don't have those regularly scheduled visits to listen to the heartbeat and see my future child's profile and I have no idea whether to buy blue or pink super cute booties - so I buy green or yellow. Lots of people have asked about showers- nobody knows what to do since we don't know when baby gets here - so there are none planned just yet. I can't take pictures of my growing tummy...there's nothing growing in their except maybe some bloating from the chinese last night! :) So in a way I feel cheated. Yes girls, cheated from the morning sickness, the frumpy clothes and the stretch marks! :)
However, on the other hand I get to have a very unique experience in other ways. I get to learn to have faith in God and for His plan in my life in an extremely personal way that I've not felt before. It is so evident that this is the plan for David and I. We entered this feeling lonely and wondered what people would think...maybe that we haven't tried hard enough or long enough...that if we would just relax it would happen...you name it...it's been mentioned. So we were cautious but so sure that we were doing exactly what was right for us and we are as sure as we have ever been. We don't doubt our decision, wonder if it was the right one or worry about what people will say. We just let all that go and we are in total baby mode! We talk about "baby surprise" everyday. Oh by the way...in case you are wondering if we have thought of more realistic names; we have. If God chooses to bless our family with a little boy he will be Jacob Grayson - if it's a baby girl we are kind of stuck to the idea of naming her Ryleigh Grace. Anyway, even though we aren't going to become parents the natural way we are just as excited and anticipating it just as much. You would be so surprised at how many people we have met that have a connection with our agency. I could tell you lots of stories and they just keep coming. The world is so small! The people at our agency have been beyond wonderful and helpful and everyhting is moving quickly! So just keep us in prayer and we will keep you posted! Happy Friday! :)
Posted by David and Jennifer at 3:07 PM
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Since most of our friends and family are computer savvy and like to communicate via the internet - we thought blogging would be a great way to let you share in our adoption journey. We have found that most people have lots of questions for us and are really interested in where we are in the process. We are very excited about "baby surprise" as we have affectionately named him/her and we want to be able to share our story with all of you! Please check back often for updates along the way! We look forward to sharing our journey with each one of you! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we travel the road ahead!
Posted by David and Jennifer at 10:59 PM