Sunday, July 20, 2008

Adoption Update

So...for those of you who read regularly...you might have noticed I have been absent in posting lately. Life has been super hectic! Between being overwhelmed at work, Grandmother's illness and the general business of life I haven't had much time to write.

The last few weeks have been strange. I took on my new role at work about two weeks ago and that's been - well, interesting! Let me not venture into the details except to say that last week was not good at all! By the end of the week I felt beat down, fussed at and trampled on.

In the middle of the week I had my final interview with Carolyn at Bethany Christian Services - our adoption agency. So let me set the stage for you - my Wednesday went like this...

1. Woke up late
2. Got to work
3. Got fussed at
4. Felt beat down
5. Felt trampled on
6. Had read that a couple that started this journey with us in February have had their child for a month (Hit me like a ton of bricks)
7. Tried to finish a million things before I left to meet with Carolyn
8. Didn't give myself as much time as I would have liked to in order to get there with time to spare
9. Leaving work feeling frazzled
10. Car dies on me in the middle of 8th Ave.
11. I panic
12. I'm sweating
13. Car starts after several attempts
14. Pull into Bethany with 1.5 minutes to spare
15. Don't have time to process...trying to be in the moment so I can talk with Carolyn
16. Need to go to restroom but don't have time
17. Greet Ms. Judy warmly and with a big smile
18. Collapse into the couch in the family room
19. Greet Carolyn and move to chair across from her
20. We talk
21. I answer lots of questions
22. Here comes the big question... "Tell me what it was like for you when your mom died...."
23. I suddenly feel the whole day on my shoulders
24. I wonder...how do I answer this....
25. I wonder..."do I have to talk about this..."
26. For those of you who don't know my story...well you may not understand - it is just so difficult to talk about
27. We make it through
28. I leave feeling like I'm still trying to back up and start the day again with not so many wrong things happening
29. I have to work late - going to a public hearing - not over til' 9 pm.
30. I get Chinese from my favorite place on the way home - THANKS DAVID!
31. At the end of the day I decide Wednesday is the worst day I have had in a very long time but my fortune cookie said that 3 months from that date something fantastic will happen!
32. I'm interested to see what October 16th has in store for me!

David's last interview is this week then Carolyn comes to our home for our safety check. I'll keep you posted on that.

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