Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Malachi 3:3 says: 'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver

This was on the back of our church newsletter last week. It spoke to me and where I am right now so I thought I would share it with you.

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what the statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at the next Bible study. That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him work. She didn't mention the reason for her interest beyond her general curiosity.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: 'He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.' She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eye on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment to long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, 'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?' He smiled at her and answered, 'Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it.

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

So I have been thinking and a certain situation I am in has definitely got me feeling the heat of the fire, so to speak. The question I have is what does "she" mean when she says that He will keep watching me until He sees His image in me. I was I going to continue to feel the burn until I take a certain action? Is God waiting on me to do something, to see something different in me? I am perplexed. I like the God keeping His eye on me part but the seeing His image in me is perplexing?! Any thoughts on this folks? Please feel free to give me your thoughts. Especially you, Gavio (if you are reading) are wise beyond your time, after all. I mean that sincerely not sarcastically.

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Shack

I'm reading a book entitled "The Shack" by WM. Paul Young. Please tell me if you have read it...what you thought...what you liked...what you didn't...etc. I'm interested to see what you guys thought of it. I have been surprised at times, sad at times, found things I liked and afraid that some people make take some parts as biblical truth that aren't necessarily at other times. Can't wait for you guys to sound off.

Friday, January 23, 2009

So you are out there...

Hello people...and a big shout out to all my new friends that have been reading the blog. You all are funny people. You read for months but never say hi and just when I think nobody is out there listening you leave me the sweetest comments! You guys are awesome! Your just like me..a lurker... I read blogs but never comment! LOL! What a funny thing we have in common.

So, no baby related things happening to tell you about. The only thing going on is at work. it's a terrible mess as usual. The admin needs a total overhaul! It's so true that you should be careful what you pray for because God just might answer. I prayed that I would recieve the promotion I got in July but now, most days, I think supervising is for the birds! I love my staff but the admin is awful!!! Oh well, I am just thankful to have a job in these hard times and I shall hush complaining.

David is in the study mode as he is preparing to take his CPA exam. I am trying to learn to be quiet so he can study. The two hours a night where I sit around alone and try to be quiet is difficult for me. I don't like hanging out by myself much. Maybe I should write my autobiography! Anybody interested in my life story? LOL!probably not although it is soap opera-ish! Could be good!

Bella got a new doggie bed today. I will have to take pictures for you. It actually matches my recliner so we can lounge beside each other and look stylish at the same time! I need to get to bed because I have a long day tomorrow! God bless you all..lurkers included...peace be with you and have a safe weekend!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Feeling Cold

For those of you that read our blog which I often don't update like I should...well, I felt like writing to you today. Actually I wanted to last night but was feeling to cold to do so. Not literally but emotionally. Yesterday was a wierd day... sort of. I went over to the Bethany office to deliver some paperwork so that we may have our profile put online for birthparents to see. For me that office is a hopeful place. I feel good when I go in there. Everyone is upbeat and friendly and encouraging. The work they do for children and families is awe-inspiring. I feel closer to our baby when I go there. However, lately I have been feeling far from baby and I felt empty leaving there yesterday as I passed the family room where so many placement ceremonies happen - while feeling that my day is so far away. I am attributing this from feeling lonely over the holidays because our baby isn't home. This child, be it concieved yet or not, is real to me and part of my family already and I missed him/her desperately over Christmas as you would any absent family member. So instead of feeling hopeful after leaving the office yesterday I just felt sadly cold and a little empty.

On the way home I was thinking that we should have heard from the grant we applied for by now to help with the adoption. So I ran my errands after home...went to the mail box...and there it was an answer to my prayers - the letter we have waited for from the grant agency. I opened it in the dark cold of the drive way and could barely read the words under the streetlamp. The words that I had imagined were there were not. No grant. A line about the high volume of applicants. A few lines later encouraging us to still be faitful to God's call and then a Bible verse that I don't remember because I was to disappointed at the moment to really pay attention.

Long story short... we are bummed. David handles everything better than me but I am bummed, cold, lonely and apathetic a little. I know others have waited a lot longer but the desires of your heart start way before your "paper approval date". So I wanted to share with you. I share the good, the common and now the disappointing.

I taught a class this morning as I often do for work and on the break I was listening to a girl saying she goes to the doctor tomorrow to hear her baby's heartbeat for the first time. I wanted to run from the room. I was thinking...thanks for letting me experience this one God, I really not feeling sad enough already. So I am sad today and just feeling cold.

I hope all of you are healthy and happy and I thank you for letting me share with you and for those of you who read and remember us.

Friday, January 2, 2009

For the love of dogs...

Ginger helping me read the comics!

Bella resting behind the pillows on the couch.

Ginger taking a snooze beside her daddy.

My baby...Roxie Foxy!

Especially for Gavin!

My good buddy Gavin Richardson has this thing for dressing dogs in clothes. If you asked him about it he would deny it but that's only because Coe and Crimson don't have any cool clothes like Roxie Foxy! The following string is for you buddy!

Random Christmas Pictures

Kenzie rocking her Aeropostle shirt!

Kenzie after opening her Mario Kart game for the Wii. What a face?!

My best buddy Ashley gave me this idea to put up multiple trees. She divides hers into themes. I loved the idea and I have more ornaments that can fit on one tree so we divided them up and did three! I love Christmas and all the lights and trees are awesome! Thanks for the inspiration Ashley!

This is ous our "blue and white" tree

Our beach tree all lit up!

Our beach favorite tree!

David and Roxie Foxy in front of one of the trees

We are alive!

No excuse for not posting except that we have been just busy busy since Thanksgiving. I have been off of work since December the 18th and it has been superb!!! I get depressed just thinking about the stress of going back to work but I am so thankful to have a job right now! I know it's tough out there right now for many folks.

I have had a wonderful Christmas full of little joys that made the season special. The empty nursery thing is hard. Way hard! I hope that 2009 finds us bringing our baby home. I am just so beyond ready that I have no words. Tomorrow marks the fourth month of official waiting.