Saturday, March 22, 2008

OUTRAGEOUS! Ouch...this one is going to hurt!

The "Big Decision" weighs heavily on my mind today...upon further research this morning I find just totally blew my mind! I mean it just blew me away! This is just a slap in the face to so many families that we have met. We would love to hear your thoughts....

** Background
An Ever-Evolving History
Source: Pineforge Press
In 1972, the National Association of Black Social Workers announced that it was opposed to adoptions that placed Black children into White families. Their position still stands today. Transracial adoptions, they argue, are harmful to Black heritage.

By 1987, 35 states had established policies against cross-racial adoption.

What.....folks this is barely twenty years ago!

In 1994, the Howard M. Metzenbaum Multiethnic Placement Act of 1994 (MEPA) was passed, prohibiting an agency or entity receiving Federal assistance for adoptive or foster care placements from delaying or denying the placement of a child on the basis of the race, color, or national origin.

14 years have got to be kidding me! We are not talking during the days of segregation and Rosa Parks!

In 1996, Congress further amended MEPA, forbidding all agencies from denying or delaying placement of a child for adoption solely on the basis of race or national origin.'s a breath of fresh air!

The Dissenter's Point of View
Transracially adopted children growing up in White or other race families won't learn about their culture or be able to develop positive, healthy self-images.

That's just so wrong!!! The families we have met have gone to extraordinary lengths to expose their children to their culture. Three of our classes has been about issues or racism and also how to incorporate your future child's customs and heritage in your blended family. I doubt very seriously that their are adoptive parents out their sitting in a secret meeting discussing all the ways they can hide who their children really are from them. We do not live in a color blind society and they will know eventually that they are different from their adoptive parents!!!! No amount of trying in the world is going to keep this from happening!!!

White parents can never truly relate to and therefore, prepare transracially adopted children for the negative experiences they will have in a racially divided world. that so???? This statement is a special kind of stupid!!!!

White or other race parents will not be able to adequately care for the unique needs of children who are racially different (e.g. hair and/or skin care).

Totally false! Believe it or not their are websites with this type of information - at the least. Some of the friends we have met through transracial adoption have gone to classes concerning these matters, they have gone to stores that are ethnic in nature, they have simply asked their friends who have adopted transracially, they have consulted their physicians, they have sought help from members of their church family....and the list goes on. All of the children we have met through transracial adoption were absolutely beautiful children! Their hair was beautiful and their skin was healthy!!!! I assure you!!! They even discussed with us how you go about finding out information on hair care and skin care!

You cannot separate the political issues from transracial adoption - if African American children, for example, are not taught to relate to and/or identify with the issues faced by their communities, they will be less likely to support the political agendas of the African-American community. do all African American people vote on "African American issues" - so that is to say that every African American in the world even HAS the SAME issues! I don't believe that the families I have met have considered it important to take the "political pulse" of the world before they grew their families the way God intended! You should most definitely separate politics from building your family! This is just so ignorant to me!

Some families may find that the only reason they would even consider adopting a child from another race is almost completely based on the relative ease and lower cost associated with adoptions involving children of color; This hardly speaks well for the family's motivation and preparation to handle the issues that come along with raising a child of color.

OH NO! Please tell me they didn't go there!!!! I actually know of a caucasian couple that have adopted a beautiful baby girl who happens to be African American. They were recently asked if their daughter was cheaper because she is black??? Being the intelligent and loving people that they are - they didn't knock they lady down but just excused her ignorance and tried to explain the facts at a later point and time. The lady didn't mean to be hurtful but it must have been like a slap in the face. Here somebody was equating their beautiful daughter with a discount ticket price making her easier to afford! By the our agency there are no discounted children solely based on race. There are grants for special needs children to offset the cost of the care and extra things they will need in their lives but I assure you they don't come out of the clearance been in the back of an orphanage somewhere!!! You should check out Brittany's Hope website and open your heart and pray for these children. Some of them not only have debilitating special needs but they are living in terrible conditions because of the number of children orphaned in that area - so that their needs can not be met or the country, as hard as they try, just don't have the finances to pay for more. I would agree that it does not speak well of a family's preparation just to adopt a child because they are more affordable but I also don't believe in my heart that the majority of adoptive parents make such poor decisions either!!!

The children will grow up to resent the parents for "stealing" them away from their home countries, cultures, languages, customs and extended family, and will forever be engaged in a search to identify their true identities, culture, relatives.

There are no words for this one!

To read more of this trash...visit the following website

I'm sure this may just be one of those bad pieces of information that you can get from the internet but it's trash like this that keep children from going "home" to their forever family. And it is just so unfortunate that people who, like ourselves, are considering transracial adoption might find this in their search and automatically be turned off. You see the alternative to transracial adoption is that kids don't ever go home. They never know a family. They don't have a grandpa and grandpa. They don't have family traditions. They don't have all the rich experiences that we have because we do have families. How can a child being adopted transracially be worse than the alternative - no going home to their forever family!

Okay, it's the day before Easter and I don't want to move into tomorrow in the kind of mood I'm in now. I have said my peace for now. I will try to post something a little more positive later. It's about time for lunch...can't wait to get your comments on this one!