Went a little crazy today!

Well I started out this morning on a weird note. I didn't feel well to start with and I had a work appointment I needed to keep. The work appoint got cancelled. When I called my provider she said something to the effect of like, "Yeah, I got your message to confirm...guess I lost your number....and no, today is not good." Not unusual for this particular person. So I start to adjust my plans accordingly. One weird thing that has been happening lately is that I have been breaking out in weird hives off and on. I haven't changed, soap, shampoo, detergent, lotion, diet, etc. Thought I would save you from wondering? :) So this itchy-scratchy thing led me to the store on my way to work for a tub of hydrocortisone. As I was walking through the store I came across some baby items....(No, David...I didn't go to that isle specifically).... I came across all these cute pacifiers and rattles, socks and blankets and they were a good price so I had to buy them. Then as I rounded the corner I see books...the great hardbound kind perfect for those that would rather chew than read (baby surprise, perhaps) so I had to buy some books. Hey! They were cheap and they had the all important "realistic" pictures in them. So I bought a couple. Anyway...the funny thing is that other than big items like the car seat, stroller, swing, etc. we have already bought the basics. (We wanted to have most of what we needed to start because when your home study is finished you have to be ready for baby!) Anyway, I told David that we were pretty much through shopping for now. We have onesies, sleepers, blankets, crib sheets, stuffed toys, rattles, bottles, etc. Just not diapers - by the way...do they expire? Can you stock up too soon? So if we have a good start on what we need why did I come out with a sackful of multiples of things we already have!? I guess because it's connectional. It makes me feel closer to "baby surprise" wherever in the world he or she may be.

The thing about adoption is that you miss some things that a pregnant woman experiences....well, lots of things! I can't buy the shirt I saw last fall in the maternity store...it had a very artistic graphic of fall leaves and it said "Coming this fall!" How clever, I thought! People obviously can see that I am not pregnant so nobody asks me questions or wants to touch my tummy. I am sure any of you that are reading this and have been forced to wear frumpy maternity clothes or been annoyed by people's fascination with touching your tummy think that maybe I don't realize that it's not all it's cracked up to be. But for somebody that would give anything to experience that - well, it's different. Also I haven't run across psuedo preganancy/adoption journals - yet I can create my own. I don't have those regularly scheduled visits to listen to the heartbeat and see my future child's profile and I have no idea whether to buy blue or pink super cute booties - so I buy green or yellow. Lots of people have asked about showers- nobody knows what to do since we don't know when baby gets here - so there are none planned just yet. I can't take pictures of my growing tummy...there's nothing growing in their except maybe some bloating from the chinese last night! :) So in a way I feel cheated. Yes girls, cheated from the morning sickness, the frumpy clothes and the stretch marks! :)

However, on the other hand I get to have a very unique experience in other ways. I get to learn to have faith in God and for His plan in my life in an extremely personal way that I've not felt before. It is so evident that this is the plan for David and I. We entered this feeling lonely and wondered what people would think...maybe that we haven't tried hard enough or long enough...that if we would just relax it would happen...you name it...it's been mentioned. So we were cautious but so sure that we were doing exactly what was right for us and we are as sure as we have ever been. We don't doubt our decision, wonder if it was the right one or worry about what people will say. We just let all that go and we are in total baby mode! We talk about "baby surprise" everyday. Oh by the way...in case you are wondering if we have thought of more realistic names; we have. If God chooses to bless our family with a little boy he will be Jacob Grayson - if it's a baby girl we are kind of stuck to the idea of naming her Ryleigh Grace. Anyway, even though we aren't going to become parents the natural way we are just as excited and anticipating it just as much. You would be so surprised at how many people we have met that have a connection with our agency. I could tell you lots of stories and they just keep coming. The world is so small! The people at our agency have been beyond wonderful and helpful and everyhting is moving quickly! So just keep us in prayer and we will keep you posted! Happy Friday! :)